


If The Crown Fits, Wear It

by This_isnt_my_real_name



Category: Dream SMP RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author Appreciates Comments, BUT WOOPS NOW I HAVE OUTDATED CONTENT, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Daddy Issues, Emotionally Repressed, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, Found Family, Gen, I'LL LIKE TO METION I WROTE THIS BEFORE RANBOO WAS ACTUALLY ACCEPETD ONTO THE SMP, Light Angst, Misunderstandings, Mommy Issues, Not Canon Compliant, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Running Away, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, The Author Regrets Everything, Trust Issues, Unreliable Narrator, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, hurray, like he legits finds his family, more like he expresses himself with jokes, ranboo has daddy issues, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 15,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_isnt_my_real_name/pseuds/This_isnt_my_real_name
Summary: "Who the fuck are you?! You're not Techno!" The blonde kid yelled, pointing his sword towards him."Me?" He points towards himself, "I'm Ranboo."Ranboo would like to say he is far superior than Technoblade,Thank for coming to his TedTalk
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Jschlatt, Clay | Dream & Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Darryl Noveschosch | BadBoyHalo & Ranboo, Dave | Technoblade & Ranboo, Ranboo & Floris | Fundy, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit, Ranboo & Toby Smtih | Tubbo, Ranboo & TommyInnit, Ranboo & Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Ranboo, Zak Ahmed | Skeppy & Darryl Noveschosch | Badboyhalo
Comments: 605
Kudos: 3454





	1. Family Drama

**Author's Note:**

> SOMEONE HAS TO WRITE FOUND FAMILY FOR RANBOO's TAG!!!!  
> AND GOD DAMN IT, IT'S GOING TO BE ME.  
> sorry if it's not good, i'm trying.
> 
>  **EDIT** : _THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE RANBOO WAS ACCEPTED,, I DID NOT KNOW HE WAS GOING TO ACTUALLY BE ACCEPTED, SO GOOD FOR HIM_ 🥳📣

Ranboo loves attention,

But, he also hates it.

Now, you may be asking, _'Ranboo? That doesn't make sense?'_ Now that's where you're wrong! It makes perfect sense, and you're just not an intellectual like him.

To explain, he _loves_ when people notice his heterochromia and compliment it. His ego, _through the roof_! Obviously, he responds with a chill response.

("I love you," he tells the nice man or, as they introduced themselves, Badboyhalo. 

Badboyhalo gave a confused chuckle, "What?")

But with attention also comes toxicity.

And with every compliment that comes his way, there is a remark/insult that's trailing just behind. Reminding him that no matter what people say, he would always be _his_ son.

("What did I say about looking at me!" The women screamed.

"You're a _fucking_ freak, to be expected," the woman scowls - scoffing, "you are _his_ spawn."

He doesn't look up from his position on the wall, face deliberately blank as he looks anywhere but his mother.)

He likes attention, but he also despises it. 

That was what he thought when he was twelve.

* * *

By the time he reached sixteen, he could positively say that attention sucks, and he hates it with a burning passion.

Standing out was great when you're a naive pre-teen, but he's a _teenager_ now. This means that he could conclude that attention is good if given in a positive environment. But, attention given in a negative environment sucks. 

And it just so happens that the people around him make a negative environment.

And that negative environment is high school. 

Why his village decided to make a separate school for teens, he doesn't know. But they shouldn't have, because his peers are uneducated monkeys that should have stayed home rather than spout their stupidity to the whole world.

And, _no_ , he's not saying this because he is the village loser so that automatically makes him a prime target at school, _no, not at all_.

It also doesn't help that he is known for being _his_ son. Nevermind that his mother has a reputation for being a homewrecker. 

Back to his peers, they are _horrible_. Plain and simple.

You talk about your passion, **once** , and now you're a nerd. ("Who the fuck would find spatulas interesting?") You look different than everyone _and_ sound different, well, you're a weirdo. ("Look at that freak, I know I say I like tall guys, but he's basically an enderman." "Eww, are you sure they aren't lying about their age? His voice is way too deep." "Oh my god, his eyes are fucking creepy.") What would've been cool back when he was small is now unacceptable. Being different was unacceptable. 

So shoot him in the foot if he thought running away was a good idea.

Time changes a person, and it just so happens he wanted to speed up his.

  
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Badboyhalo to Skeppy: This is our new child :)  
> Skeppy: Bad no-


	2. Crowns Are Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo finds a crown

You know what's awesome.

Free stuff. 

It could be the cheapest stuff out there, but free stuff is free stuff.

Although, if you found it in the ground in the middle of a forest, is it free? 

Yes!

It's how his ancestors would say, " _finder keepers, losers weepers._ " 

Well, not really, he's pretty sure his ancestors were assholes. BUT, you get his point.

_Anyway_ , it has been two weeks since he packed up the little things he had and left. Sure he struggled the first week to catch food and how to purify water, but practice makes perfect. And by that, he means that he now knows the difference between a poisonous berry and a non-poisonous berry. He's still working on the water situation.

But that sounds like a future problem for him. Right now, this crown is what's important.

This beaten up crown doesn't seem like much to most people, but something about it seems to be calling out to him. Or that could be the berries he had eaten earlier. He's not sure if they were poisonous.

No matter, he grins as he tries dusting off the dirt on the crown. As of this instant, this crown is his most prized possession.

~~He won't mention how this crown is the first thing he has that hasn't been tainted by his past.~~

~~  
~~


	3. Strange Portal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't build a camp near a wolves den.

Six months, 

It has been six months since he left ~~the hellhole~~ 'home'. 

And what a glorious time have those past months been. 

Firstly, he now knows how to purify water. Took him getting diarrhea several times, but he did it. Secondly, he met this villager named Ronald. Ronald was a splendid fellow who happens to have a daughter that had the tendency to do arson. No judgment, but he's kinda scared of her. Thirdly, after finding the crown, he had washed off the grime and found out that the gems actually match his eye colors. Very cool, if you asked him.

Life has been good so far.

Well, if you ignore how he is being chased by wolves at the moment. In his defense, how was he supposed to know about the ravage dogs around while he set up camp. 

So, in conclusion, he should fight whatever god that is out there for their position. And when he gains their position of power, the first thing he would do is make himself a home and sleep for a millennium, because oh ender dragon, has he been running for a while.

Right turn,

Left turn,

Right turn,

Left turn,

 _'Do wolves not get tired_?!' Is what he would yell if he had any air left in his lungs. Oh ender, have mercy on him and his poor lungs.

He catches a flash of light at the edge of his eyes. 

Now that could be three things. Option A, it's a village or a group of travelers like him. Option B, it's a portal to another world, public or private, is up to debate. Option C, it's lava. And with his luck, he would not be surprised if it was the latter.

Welp, he has always been an impulsive person, and if he's going to be eaten by wolves, he better at least kill off his curiosity first.

He took a sharp right running towards the light, wolves still not yielding.

Luckily, the light wasn't far, so he was happy to see that lady luck was on his side, and that option B was right. 

The portal looked like a nether portal, the difference was that unlike its cousin, it was made out of iron, and the wormhole was colored a bright gold. Sadly, he didn't have time to admire the portal, as once he was close enough, he jumped in.

And as he felt his body warp, he hopes that the world was public because a private one could be the permanent end of his running away trilogy. Oh, and his life.

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[Subject identified]

[Ţ̶̡̗̇̑͛e̸͇̲̞̣̓̅̕c̷̛͙̱̫̱̾̽ͅh̶͖͂̍̿̒n̷̢̥̪͗ö̷͈̼́̓͆͝b̵̧̋͝l̵̩̦̯͆̈́ą̶͚̩̣͓͊͐̄ḓ̸̑͘e̷͉̎̐ has (re)Joined]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have now successfully finished the prologue, 📣📣
> 
> Fun fact: Ronald and his 'daughter' with the tendency to do arson, is actually from the video, [How I became the most hated person on Build Battle]


	4. Why is everyone so short?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is this short gremlin child??

He wonders if time travel exists, and if it does, how much does he gotta pay to use the machine?

 ~~Maybe he could've stopped his parents from meeting~~ ;

Maybe he could've stopped himself from jumping into the portal. Because right now, being mauled by wolves sounds _so_ appealing, rather than the predicament he's in. 

Now you may be confused about what he is talking about, so here's the rundown of the events that just transpired in the last few minutes. 

To start, when he was going through the portal, an error screen appeared (never good news), but it soon disappeared to show _his_ name. Albeit a bit glitchy, but that doesn't sit well with him.

Because he's _Ranboo_ , not _him_.

The worst part, was when he finally materialized in the world, and he had popped up in the middle of a battlefield. 

Fun.

Great.

Yippee.

Kill him.

There goes his chance to hide and hope no-one notices the freakishly tall kid hiding in the forest. 

Now, the people on the battlefield reacted as they should when you see a stranger materialize rather than the ' _great_ ' Technoblade. And by react, he meant yelling and screaming.

("Who the _fuck_ are you?! You're not Techno!" The blonde kid yelled, pointing his sword towards him. Now, this would generally be scary, but the guy is several inches shorter than him, _and_ he's lanky just like him. And Ender knows he's weak.

"Me?" He points towards himself, tone blank, "I'm Ranboo." 

The boy starts sputtering.)

He likes to think they were too star-struck by his looks, so that's why they haven't attacked. Yes, he knows that his white - pink depending on the lighting - and black hair is awe-striking.

Despite everything, there was good news, he found that nice dude who complimented his heterochromia when he was young.

("Ranboo?"

Now, why does that voice sound so familiar? 

He turns his head towards that voice.

 _No way_ , "Mister Badboyhalo! I haven't seen you since I was twelve!" He grins.)

Now, if only that reunion had lasted more than a couple seconds. However, luck has never been on his side and won't be for anytime soon. Because the moment he gives out that enthusiastic greeting, a ring goes off. He's read enough stories to know that means _someone_ is about to join, or in an admin's case, wake up. 

[Technoblade has Joined]

[Dream has awakened]

He didn't have time to react before an axe was at his throat; His grin fell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admins in this world go into a type of hibernation (aka spectator mode) because being physical takes up too much energy, lol. 
> 
> Also, I may have a one-shot planned about Badboyhalo and Ranboo's short interaction,,,, 
> 
> Only Ranboo would consider Tommy 'short.' 
> 
> ~~Sorry, i'm trying~~


	5. Might stab a man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo keeps talking out loud

Netherite.

Netherite is a legendary metal that was told to him and the rest of the kids in primary school. Shiny and magical, the teachers would describe it. Saying how the metal enchanted even the person who held it - explaining how only a rare few individuals ever owned or seen netherite. 

So count him part of the one percent because this netherite axe aimed at his neck is not playing around. Well, nor is the masked figure who is holding it. 

"Who _are you,_ " the masked man asks, or well, more like demands.

"Please don't kill me," he warily glances at the axe ~~deliberately not looking behind the man~~.

The man seemed to not like this response, as they put more pressure onto his neck. He lets out a small hiss as his skin breaks. _Rude_.

Behind him, he could hear the people who had witnessed his entrance come out of their daze, and if the sound of swords being unsheath were anything to go by, they also were ready to attack. Well, he hopes mister Halo isn't one of them, but he has his doubts. 

"Dream, you didn't whitelist him?" Glancing at his right, he barely makes out the figure who spoke - it was a man wearing a bandana. 

"I wouldn't be aiming my axe if he was, Snapnap."

"In his defense, you do that to Tommy also."

Ain't this awkward. 

Who knew that a short masked wearing man would be the end of him, surreal.

" _Excuse me_." 

_Opps_. "I didn't mean to say that out loud," he tries to defend himself. Keyword: tries.

Several laughs erupt after he said that. Well, at least _someone_ is enjoying his pain and embarrassment.

"Dream, I like his humor! Let's keep him!" He hears - or who sounds like - the blonde kid proclaim.

First of all, he knows he's hilarious, and he's glad the kid sees that. Secondly, what is he? A pet? The short kid shouldn't even be speaking because he's just as small and with the added bonus of being annoying. 

" _Excuse me!_ What did you say, asshole!"

He took a deep breath. "I talked out loud again, didn't I." He looks blankly at the masked figure, or as people would describe, dead inside.

The masked figure at least had the courtesy to nod his head. ~~He's pretty sure the tea kettle sound is coming from him, but he's not sure.~~

Oh, could things get any worse?

"Dream," wait, _no, no,_ he didn't mean it like that(!), "do me a favor and move. I need to see something." 

"What?" The masked man rightfully asked, confused; the wheezing stops, along with the laughter behind him. 

Oh ender, why do you hate him?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remembered that Techno had ADHD, so I kinda based off his late reaction to how I react to important/confusing situations. By which I mean that I zone out and then come back into the situation after processing everything, but several minutes have passed and now you just made the situation awkward with your exclamation. 
> 
> Also, both Techno and Dream are 6'2 - 6'3? :) Why are these Minecraft men so tall? They literally don't even see the sun all day.
> 
> Sorry for the occ, just need to finish the main arc until we could get back to our ✨ chaotic god✨ Ranboo. But you'll get ur crumbs,,,,


	6. Time Flies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo is tired.

He was seven when he first met his father.

He was young, naive, _short_ , and many more things. But the thing that he remembers well was his admiration for his father. 

Of course, his mother and the villagers would spout how vile and cruel his father was. Especially his mother. Telling him how lucky he was that he took more after _her_. The only evidence that screamed he was his father's son was the lone red-eye, the white part of his hair that looked pink in the right lighting, and if he took off his gloves, the black and white scales on his hands. All the three traits his mother belittled him for or forced him to hide. 

He never liked that because, in his mind, these traits made him like his father. A father that he only knew based on the old history books hidden in the back of the abandoned library. 

The father he knew was charming, not an emotionally constipated mess like his village said. He was heroic, not the wallflower his mother made him out to be. He was a _king_ and a _PVP god_ , unlike him, who was an average kid in a village who 'friends' make fun of and push around. 

Technoblade was everything he wanted to be, and more. 

So why did he -

* * *

"Are you already losing your hearing, Dream?" 

Braided pink hair.

"I said, _move_."

A pig mask.

"Why should I?"

Pig ears.

"You don't have to, but I don't really want to use force."

The royal garments.

"Are you threatening me?"

The red eyes. 

"I would never." 

It has been eight years since he last saw his father, and the only thing that has changed is the missing crown. Great to know his ego is a little less inflated.

"Really?" The masked man still kept the axe close to his neck, "you could have fooled me."

A burst of ominous laughter erupted, "so are you going to move?" Then followed by the sound of a sword being unsheathed.

A tense silence surrounded everyone; You could hear a pin drop with how quiet it had become. 

But, before he knew it, the axe was lowered - but not sheath - as the masked man took several steps back. 

' _Traitor,_ ' he thought.

Now, he really did try looking anywhere besides his father, but fate hates him, and he accidentally made eye contact. 

Red eyes that gave nothing away met his panicked green and red.

The hum that followed made his heart jump as his _father_ stopped in front of him.

"Dream," his _father_ turned toward the armed man, "I'll take care of this."

The masked man's voice was tight when he retorts, "And why should I let you? Need I remind you that i'm the _admin_ here."

"I think I should be the one to deal with my son's delinquency."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you guess what happened to Techno's crown? Yes, you could, because I suck at making surprises.
> 
> Techno: Meet my son Ranboo that I never talked about before.
> 
> Everyone else: ⊂•⊃_⊂•⊃
> 
>   
> Edit: RANBOO's TAG WAS FINALLY MADE OFFICAL!!!! Damn, that would've made my life easier, BUT YESSSSSSS


	7. Daddy Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo wants to punch his father

Ranboo would like to think he's a good person. Like a good person, but not a _good_ person. You get him, right?

Well, it doesn't matter because right now, he's debating if he should just _attack_ _father dearest_.

He knows he'll probably fail miserably, but he does have the height advantage. Then again, his father is also known for defeating a whole army while farming potatoes. 

But punching him sounds so good right now. _But_ , the masked man still has his netherite axe out and he doesn't know about the people behind him. 

But punch. 

_But,_ his life. 

He blinked at his father's statement.

"I- What?" He heard the masked wearing man question; he's pretty sure if the man wasn't wearing a mask, they would be gaping. Which is understandable because he's not at all surprised that his _father_ didn't tell them about him. 

His father opened his mouth, probably about to make a snarky remark, but before he knew it, a screech erupted. 

He winces. 

"YOU HAVE A SON? SINCE THE FUCKING WHEN?" The blonde kid yelled.

Oh Ender, help his poor ears.

"Umm, for fifteen years?" His father answers monotonously.

Wait, "did you just say fifteen years?" He gives his father a bemused look, "you do know I'm sixteen?" 

You know, he really wants to say he's surprised, but he's not.

He watches as his father blinks and furrows his eyebrows, "I thought your birthday was next month?" 

"It was actually seven months back," he answers, raising an eyebrow.

His father gapes, and -

Oh, is his father blushing? Which is hilarious because now he looks _more_ like a walking strawberry. 

He coughs into his inner elbow, trying to suppress that thought. ' _Not now, inner monologue._ '

"Wow, are you and Wilbur trying to fight over the worst father award?" He heard bandana man say. Which was then followed by mister Badboyhalo, whose voice was filled with distress and shock.

"You don't know your own son's age?" 

The sounds of agreement could be heard all around. 

"I'm old," his father tries to weakly defend himself. 

Ya, he definitely should punch his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just know that Tommy had a hand slapped onto his mouth, because we all know that he would've been screaming more than he did in this chapter.
> 
> The sad life when the random man you met when you were twelve is more of a father figure than your real one ☠.
> 
> Techno isn't a good father figure, for now. He'll get there. Maybe.   
> ☻ 
> 
> AHHHH THE STREAM!! GUYS I WAS SO HAPPY THAT CHAOS WAS EVERYWHERE. I almost didn't post this chapter, because I wanted to watch the stream rather than edit (most chapters are pre-written, they just need editing). BUT HELL YAAAA, I MULTITASKED. ~~Tried to keep this spoiler free~~.


	8. I Have a Uncle?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone give Ranboo a bed

Bad news, he did not punch father dearest. 

Righteousness won, sadly.

Good news, masked man or Dream as they introduced themselves, said that he's allowed to stay - for now. 

He said that he needs to run a couple of experiments to test the world's security, and he needs him. Sounds fishy if you tell him, but his head is still connected to his body, so he's going to count it as a win. 

Other bad news, he's forced to stay with his father and the blonde kid or, as they yelled at him, Tommy. 

And here he was hoping to stay with mister Badboyhalo.

So here he is, walking next to Tommy with his father several steps behind them, as they lead him towards a place called Pogtopia. Because _apparently_ , they're a 'secret' resistance - and how their base is found in a ravine? - that is trying to overthrow the government of Manburg. Whatever that means, he really just wants to sleep.

"Big man!" Does this guy not get tired, "If you really Techno's son, that technically makes me _your_ uncle!"

His mind blanks, " _excuse me?_ "

Tommy grins and lets out a sharp laugh, "yup! I'm actually Techno's younger brother, so that makes you my nephew!" 

Ender, why do you hate him.

"No," he weakly says. ~~he ignores the pang of his heart when he notices how much closer Tommy is to his father, compared to him - Techno's son.~~

It seems Tommy doesn't catch that or decides to ignore it because he starts going into a rant on how he should respect him and how he is going to help him 'catch' women(?) as his uncle. Which doesn't sound legal, honestly. 

"Big man! Have I told you about-"

He starts zoning out. 

Now that he thinks about it, how long has it been since he ate? He knows he ate a couple of berries in the morning, but nothing else. Like, he did catch fish for dinner, but you know, with the wolves and all. 

_Damn_ , if he hadn't caught the fishes, he would've been finished eating and getting ready to sleep. 

Curse those wolves.

"-re you listening to me? Hellllooooo." 

Yup, he's definitely going to skin them wolves if he ever sees them again.

"Sadly," he sighs out.

Tommy squawks in protest.

He ignores the burning stare in his back and lets Tommy complain about the disrespect he gets from his nephews.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommy trying to bond with Ranboo: ´･ᴗ･`
> 
> Ranboo just wanting to sleep after going through an emotional rollercoaster: (ーー;)
> 
> Next chapter is going to be an intermission ~~hope you guys don't mind~~. It's going to be Bad and Ranboo's meeting (ft. Skeepy)


	9. Interlude: Drama King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skeppy is dramatic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A look into how Bad and Ranboo know each other (ft. Skeppy)

Skeppy is curious, is this how Bad feels when he pulls a prank. And if so, ender is he mean. 

In his defense, his pranks are usually harmless. A few may go overboard, _but_ not as far as to kidnap a _child_. 

How did Bad even find a willing child to go with him?!

He would be the first to admit that Bad is a scary-looking guy. Bad; with skin so unnaturally dark that it looks like scissors cut a human-sized whole through the world; with eyes such a pure white that it seems to glow in the dark; bloody colored horns and coal colored wings. And don't get him started on how Bad dresses himself - that, in itself, isn't really helping Bad's case. If he hadn't known better, he would've assumed that Bad was a demon ready to take his soul instead of the partner he was assigned by the guild. Heck, Bad has even complained to him how people run away from him when he tries to approach them. 

So you can't blame him for being skeptical that this child would willingly go with Bad. 

"Bad," he takes a glance at the kid before going looking back up, "kidnapping is bad."

Oh, how the turntables.

"I didn't kidnap him," Bad pats the kid's two-toned hair, "I'm merely _borrowing_ him." 

He never thought there would be a day _he_ would be the rational one, but apparently, miracles do happen.

"Bad," he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "you _can't_ borrow a kid. That's literally kidnapping."

"But he was lost!"

"Then you should have left him!" He exasperated.

"Skeppy!" 

Perhaps he should've told Bad that he would look for the kid's parents instead of being left babysitting duty. 

("Why are you leaving me with the _kid_?" 

Bad just gave him a smile, "his name is Ranboo, and I was the one who found him. _So_ , I should be the one to look for his parents."

Bad pats him in the head before looking over his shoulder, "Skeppy is going to look out for you, ok, Ranboo."

The kid looks up from where he was drawing on the dirt, smiling, "ok, mister Halo!")

He gives the kid a cautious look. 

Ranboo just stares back, his red and green having no problem to look straight into his eyes. 

' _Brat,_ ' he scowls, looking away; A cheer rang out when he looked away. 

' _Wait, what?_ ' 

"Yes!" The kid threw their arms up, "I won!" 

"Won what?!" He furrowed his eyebrows, giving the kid a look. 

Ranboo grins, "the staring contest, duh." They puff out their chest, "no-one can beat me." 

"Wait, no," who does this kid think he is, "I didn't even know we were having a staring contest. So, _technically_ it doesn't count." Now you may be thinking how childish he is acting right now, but your opinion doesn't matter because right now, it's his ego on the line. How is he supposed to live knowing a _kid_ beat him in a staring contest. 

"I want a rematch," he says seriously. His ego can't take this. 

Ranboo looks up from his drawing, "no," gives him a smile before going back to drawing on the dirt. 

He blinks - stupefied.

* * *

After an unsuccessful parent hunting, Bad walks into Skeppy, whining about his bruised ego and how he's going to die anytime now, with Ranboo just absently nodding in the background. 

Well, at least the kid isn't dead. 

"Skeppy," he suppresses his grin as he watches Skeppy sprang up - face filled with happiness. 

"Bad!" In a blink of an eye, Skeppy is dramatically draping himself onto him. "The kid is bullying me!"

He glances down at Skeppy, meeting his brown eyes and fake tears, before turning towards Ranboo.

"He lost a staring contest a couple hours back and now won't stop whining." Ranboo doesn't even look up from his drawing. 

" _Bad_ , my ego." 

He pats Skeppy's head and turns towards Ranboo, "I'm sorry, Ranboo. I didn't find your parents." 

He pays no mind to Skeppy's whining in the background and his rant about being betrayed.

Ranboo looks up from his dirt drawing, giving him a grin, "that's fine, I know where I live." The boy stands up, patting his trousers and shirt to get rid of the dirt on it.

He and Skeppy pause, sending Ranboo a bewildered look. 

Ranboo laughs, "mister Bad, I never said I was lost. You just assumed I was. If I wanted to, I could've gone home hours ago." 

"Wait," Skeppy let go of his shoulders, "you're telling me that I was babysitting you for nothing." 

The boy shrugs, "you guys were the ones to assume."

Skeppy turns to him, "Bad, cover your ears." 

He sighs, "don't be too harsh like you were with Tommy. I actually like him," before covering his ears. 

The sound of muffled screaming is the only sound he is able to hear as he watches Skeppy chase a cackling child. 

This is fine, 

At least no-one is hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad's skin is very scary. No, I won't take complaints.
> 
> Skeppy and Bad refer to this incident as [The Babysitting Incident]. 
> 
> Ranboo _is_ Techno's child (in the story) and I saw an opportunity to write a tormented (and dramatic) Skeppy with a tired Badm and i took it. Also I'd like to think Ranboo was trying to draw Bad, but kept erasing and redrawing it, because 'it didn't look like him.' ~~Ignore how Ranboo probably preferred staying with strangers rather than his mother~~


	10. Hypocrisy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pogtopia is slowly falling apart, and Ranboo has a front row seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to our regularly scheduled program :)

Wilbur.

"Wilbur is a weird name," he remembers telling a nice old granny when she was telling her story. Granny laughed, telling him that Ranboo isn't really common either and adding that you shouldn't judge others just because their name is a bit different. 

"Wilbur," she explained, "was a unique type of person. He was sweet, helpful, and just a great lad in general." She turned quiet - a distant look appeared in her eyes. She would then tell him how those traits were only for show because his real personality was cunning, evil, and selfish. 

She explained to him how Wilbur would make several worlds, each with different purposes but the same objective in the end. The objective? Who will be the last to survive. 

She told him how people would pay to see these events and how some _crazy folks_ would want to be a part of these events. 

He remembers asking Granny what happened to Wilbur. She smiled and said, "rumor has it he met a kind woman who changed his life, and they had a beautiful child." 

Thinking back at that story, he couldn't help but think how the universe was cruel to give a selfish person a good ending.

* * *

He can't help but think of that granny's advice as he stares at this homeless man who introduced himself as Wilbur (and his other uncle if what Tommy said was true.). Granny said not to judge someone by their name. _But,_ she never said anything about judging someone based on their appearance.

Ender, someone give this homeless man a bath and clean clothes. 

Tommy was trying to explain the situation, but Wilbur kept shutting him down and blocking the entrance to Pogtopia. Meanwhile, his father had already entered by physically moving the man and then putting him back once he got through. 

Wasn't he _just_ a great help.

"I swear, I'm not fucking lying!" Tommy yelled after the fifth time being shut down, irritation filled his voice, "he really is Techno son!"

He tensed up when Wilbur sent him a glare. 

"And you expect me to believe that," Wilbur scoffed, looking away from him, turning to face Tommy. "If he was Techno's son, why didn't Techno pause and vouch for him before entering."

Jeez, he just recently met his uncles, and he's already caused a family argument because of his presence - how lovely. 

"Oh, like _you're_ one to _talk_ ," Tommy snarls out - finally snapping, "YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO FUNDY WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE, SO YOU SHOULDN'T BE TALKING." 

Wilbur's eyes widen, and Tommy freezes. He picks at the edge of his sleeve, trying to not look at the pair. 

“Wilbur, I didn-” Tommy tries to say but is cut off.

"Welcome to Pogtopia," Wilbur says, face deliberately blank before the man turns right around and walks down the stairway.

Well, at least he's welcomed.

"We," hesitation, "should go in," Tommy glanced at him and glanced at the stairway. Grabbing the edge of his sleeve, Tommy drags him towards the stairway entrance. 

They don’t talk as they descend the stairway.

Well, this is one way to get to know your family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad Tommy go brrrrrrr,,,,,,
> 
> Wilbur's one-shot will also be coming in the future, I don't know when, but it'll be coming. 
> 
> This is before Wilbur went full on insane, but I still tried to write him as guarded. Also, Tommy is starting to get irritated, lol ~~the guys sixteen people, he has hormones~~.


	11. Sleep Deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sleep deprived brain makes you think deep thoughts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the weird pacing....... and wording

Tommy hadn't said a word for almost five minutes.

Which shouldn't be sending off red flags, but it somehow does. Sure, he hasn't known Tommy for long (he only met him two hours ago), but with how much Tommy talked while they traveled towards Pogtopia, it's obvious he's not one to be quiet. 

He huffs, looking around Pogtopia. How Tommy feels right now is the least of his concerns, he honestly just wants to sleep.

Tommy leads him across a wooden bridge, creaking every time they took a step.

'Surreal,' he thinks, as he observes the bottom of the bridge. 

Now that he thinks about it, Pogtopia makes him feel small. 

Ranboo would say he grew up modestly, not poor, but not rich either. 

And by modestly, he means his mother. He by no means was ever treated equally as her. Heck, he was _lucky_ that his mother let him stay in her house; It's a miracle his mother hadn't forced him to stay in the shed behind the house.

He grew up sleeping on the floor with just a thin blanket as bedding, in a room that was locked every night, 

A room that was only opened in the morning if his mother remembered to open it.

That room wasn't the best. 

It had a cabinet for his clothes (he was able to fit some personal items), a chair shoved in a corner, and a couple of ratty blankets. That was it, no bed, nothing to decorate his room or anything to play with. 

He has a vivid memory of begging his mother to open the door once, it was the middle of the afternoon, and his mother forgot to open it for him. He screamed how the room was dull and that he couldn't take the quiet anymore. 

~~His mother wouldn't open the door until the next day.~~

The room wasn't a great place when he was young, but he grew to get used to it as he grew. By that, he means he usually could sleep for long durations regardless if he was tired or not.

Although he did have to rewire his brain once he ran away. Being able to sleep while a creeper crept up to you isn't ideal. 

(Now that he thinks about it. How did his mother even get her money? He knows well that she hated working, and he's sure he hasn't seen her go anywhere close to a field. 

Eh, that's a problem for later.) 

Anyway, as he had said before, Pogtopia is making him feel small. 

Undoubtedly, Pogtopia isn't a place where the rich wouldn't even bother coming anywhere near, but that's their problem. Pogtopia oozes power, and even though it seems to just be a ravine renovated to fit human life, it feels as if the people made it into _something_.

He doesn't know if it's the childish part of him that's jealous that ~~his father~~ people had somehow made a cave system from nothing into something. Opposed to him, who had given up early on, on trying to make the room into _something_ that was _his_. 

Pogtopia makes him feel as if he didn't do _enough_ in his old life. 

Which is weird because he barely entered Pogtopia merely minutes ago and learned of its existence an hour ago. 

Weird what his sleep-deprived brain could think of.

He has to stop himself from crashing into Tommy as they come to an erupt stop.

"This is where you'll be staying," Blue eyes meet his as Tommy pointed towards an opening. 

"Thanks," he awkwardly says. 

An awkward silence surrounded them.

Tommy wears an unreadable expression before quickly giving him a strained smile and a nod. They turn around, walking away from him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: "Chronic sleep deprivation can raise your levels of anxiety, depression and negative thinking."
> 
> So, to my readers, get sleep :)
> 
> Another Fun Fact: Ranboo never calls the room or his mother's house, home or his room, it's always that room and his mother's house.
> 
> Hope you guys like the bit of backstory for Ranboo, and some foreshadowing (if you guess what I mean, you get a cookie). And Tommy is going to be back to his usual self in the next chapter, the boy is just ✨thinking✨
> 
> Also, I know I've been updating daily for a week, but I'm going to change my updating schedule to every other day now (trying to write longer chapters), sorry for that inconvenience.


	12. Go to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are weird

The old abandoned library in the old village always managed to captivate his attention as a kid.

He had first stumbled across the library by accident when he was picking flowers.

Frankly, it seemed it would fall apart any second and could easily topple with just a breeze. 

Didn't stop him from going inside and exploring - because apparently, he was _really_ thick-headed as a child. 

Luckily the library did not collapse once he had gone inside - ~~nor would it ever, until the summer he turned seven~~ \- which was a relief thinking back to it. The library was, as one would expect, dusty and dirty. Every time he took a step, dust would fly everywhere - thus making him cough. Coughing then made him inhale dust particles, which would then make him stumble with how hard he's coughing. Which results in _more_ dust polluting the air with his stumbling. 

An endless cycle of him coughing and stumbling.

He remembers thinking this would conclude his six years of life, dying because he wanted to explore a library. 

As luck would have it, all his stumbling resulted in him coming across a room with less dust. With less dust meant he could finally catch his breath.

Six years old him just sat there, gulping in air, with the occasional cough or two. He rapidly blinked, trying not to let the tears fall caused by his coughing.

After getting hold of his breathing, he remembers standing up and looking around the less dusty room. It was still considerably dirty with broken glass, tables, and chairs strewed everywhere. Yet, the only thing that seemed to be kinda perfectly intact was the books. Moldy, but intact nonetheless.

He doesn't quite remember when he had walked over or when he had reached out for one of the books. All he remembers is grabbing the first book that caught his attention.

It was a thin book, titled 'Dream and spatulas facts for children' (took him a while to figure that one out, with him having to space out the vowels) and a cloud next to a spatula, both had drawn on smiley faces.

Most of the information he'd forgotten, ~~(really, he only remembers the spatula facts)~~ but he does vividly remember a fact he had read. 

**[Sometimes, your dream is just your subconscious trying to tell you something.]**

He really feels like that was wrong because in that logic, what the heck is his dream trying to tell him.

_"Don't know if I should be scared or not," Ranboo questioned, looking up and down at the_ **_very_ ** _tall spatula. Probably a foot taller than him._

_The spatula bends to his height._

_He goes still, watching as it slowly brings its rubber head next to his ears._

"WAKE UP BITCH," _the spatula yells_.

* * *

With a start, he wakes up, his brain automatically tuning into survival mode due to the unexpected wake-up call. Body telling him to stand up and ~~run away~~ defend himself from the danger that might be lurking.

Unfortunately, him trying to stand up quickly to ~~run away~~ defend himself didn't help him in the long run. First, because he isn't outside in the forest, so there's no need to be worried. Secondly, he's pretty sure there isn't a mob that could mimic human speech - minus wizards & witches. So when he _does_ bolt up, he ends up ramming his head straight into Tommy's face. 

You know, a great way to start the day. 

"Fuck!" Tommy reflexively puts his hands towards his face. 

' _Oh no,_ ' he scrambles out of bed, ignoring how his forehead throbs from the impact. "I- I swear it was an accident." ~~He ignores how his hands shake.~~

Tommy puts his hands down, and he watches as several emotions appear on Tommy's face - his heartbeat spikes - before seeming to fall to his default expression, grinning. 

"Big man!" Tommy puffs out his chest, "that didn't even hurt! You didn't even manage to leave a mark!" 

He lets out a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Um," he starts rubbing his gloved hands, still reeling from shock, "Why did you wake me up?"

That seems to be the right question because Tommy lightens up. 

"I'm going to give you a tour around the SMP!" 

Huh, why does he feel something is going to go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just write a whole backstory (of the library) just because I wanted to make that spatula dream? Yes ~~   
> No, but I swear the library is a plot point that is going to reveal a lot on why Ranboo dislikes Techno.
> 
> ~~Lol, Tommy is worried.~~
> 
> Also, I've seen several comments asking if Fundy or Phil are going to show up? They are, it's just that their chapters won't be for a while and I don't want to cause issues with the tags. Most of the characters who are tagged will be showing up more. 


	13. Chismosos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy is getting tired with his brothers fighting and Ranboo is vibing :)

Ok, so things did go wrong.

Which is a bit of a shocker, and not because his hopes were high - he's learned to keep his bar low. The reason it's a shocker is that they haven't even _left_ Pogtopia. 

Let him explain, 

After Tommy had rudely woken him up and told him about a tour around the SMP, he just nodded. 

Really, he didn't know what reaction he should give? Seeing as he has only been inside this world for less than twenty-four hours, it was a given that he was at least going to get an explanation of the going of this world. The tour just seems like a bonus.

Although, his reaction seemed to not be what Tommy wanted as his shoulder sagged a bit. (He only feels a little bit bad for not giving him the response he wanted.) On the other hand, though, it seemed to also not affect Tommy that much, as he just goes on a rant on how he should be honored, and I quote, "that I the great Tommyinnit, is giving you a tour." 

During all this, he instinctively starts folding the blankets of the bed he had slept on. He gave a couple of hums towards Tommy's rant and grabbed his crown that he had taken off last night in his sleepy haze. ~~His gloved hands weren't so lucky - being kept on for the night, even so, he's kinda thankful of that, he doesn't want Tommy to stare at his discolored hands.~~

"We could leave now," he says, awkwardly standing in front of the - now neatly folded - bed.

Tommy pauses from his rant, "oh." 

Afterward, he and Tommy had walked out. 

Now, this is where things went wrong.

Unlike yesterday when they crossed the bridge, he paid more attention to what was underneath - now noticing the several rooms and a pit in a corner. 

Although his attention would soon turn to the loud yelling coming from a door stationed next to the end of the bridge. 

He would've ignored it - who is he to get involved with this rebellion's problems - but the closer they got, the more he realized that the yelling was about **him**. 

Yay, we love walking into a conversation you weren't meant to hear. 

"-ve my reasons."

The bridge creaks as they get closer.

"What reasons could you have that makes you hide that you had a son!" 

He glances at Tommy's shaking fist, walking a bit slower as to put distance.

A thud could be heard, "Were you never going to tell us that you had a son!"

As they get closer, he recognizes his _father's voice_.

"What _did_ you say, Techno?!"

They reach the end of the bridge.

"You heard me."

He watches Tommy get close to the door and kicks it open.

"HEY, DICKHEADS," Tommy yells, voice filled with irritation. 

Now with the door fully open, it exposes Wilbur holding his father to a wall by his royal cape - both wearing a look of surprise. 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"Wh-" Wilbur and Techno say at the same time, but Tommy cuts them off.

"GREAT TALK, BYE, ASSHOLES."

Tommy grabs the door he had kicked open and slams it closed. 

Tommy ~~tensely~~ grins towards him, "they're assholes aren't they," before walking away. He catches a glimpse of his grin changing into a scowl.

He blinks - surprised(?) - absently nods, and follows Tommy. 

~~_Fine_ , Tommy isn't _that_ bad, ~~

~~And _maybe_ the day might get better. ~~

* * *

They walked out of Pogtopia, Tommy had tried to start a small talk, but it became clear it was just going to be one-sided.

He's an awkward person, don't judge him. 

He looks around.

And, he would just like to say, the outside looks ten times better in the daytime - dusk made everything seem murky and dull. 

A ping of sorts takes him out of his thoughts. 

He looks towards Tommy - Tommy, who seems to pull out a communicator of sorts from his pockets. 

He watches as Tommy perks up whilst he reads what he assumes is a message.

Tommy looks up, sending him a mischievous smile, putting his communicator back into his pocket. 

"Big man! We're going to make a pit stop." 

"Ok?" Its not like he could give himself a tour.

"Great, you're going to meet the most _clingy_ person to ever grace this earth." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I hate this chapter :)  
> Anyway, Tubbo is finally going to appear 💛💛
> 
> Ha, Tommy can't seem to catch a break. My boy just wants to keep his falling apart family together. 
> 
> Have great rest of ur day ❤


	14. He's not a virgin?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Tommy feels about Ranboo

Tommy wouldn't say he had a bad life. 

Far from it, because he's **_Tommyinnit_ **! Yes, he knows people cower in fear when they hear his name and all the accomplishments he has achieved. If he wasn't him, he would too. 

But every so often, his life could get a _little_ frustrating. Just a _little_ , because surely what he's going through isn't _that_ frustrating. 

He, the great Tommyinnit, is getting irritated by his older brothers actions. 

Y'know, like most siblings, 

But most siblings don't have to deal with their brothers' lack of care towards their sons. While _also_ having to deal with a resistance on the side.

Fuck.

To start, Wilbur and his son - Fundy.

Wilbur had Fundy _way_ before he was born. Like, three years before he had yet to grace the earth with his awesomeness. 

Now, from what he heard and saw a bit, he remembered they had a good relationship. Well, as good as you could get when _Wilbur_ is your dad. 

Yes, he's fucking dissing his brother. He might look up to him, but that doesn't mean he won't call him out in his hypocrisy. 

Where men can emancipate, his ass. 

Wilbur is a good older brother, might go overboard sometimes, but overall a good brother. Now, as a _father_. 

With Sally, he was decent, but when Sally had disappeared at the beginning of the war. Well. That's when things started taking a turn for the worse. 

He started ignoring Fundy and putting the war first. And sure at first, he was doing it for Fundy - "I can't lose Fundy too," he heard Wilbur whisper to himself as he walked by him with loads of paperwork. - but it would soon change to him just wanting to _win_ the war. 

~~He'll admit that even he got caught up in the glory of war.~~

Now, Fundy, who had just lost his mother to war, probably didn't like that outcome. Being babied and then being ignored back to back might create issues in a relationship.

He could understand _why_ Fundy would betray them. He also had betrayed his father when they were in SMP Earth for similar feelings. ~~Having felt neglected and lonely, he joined/created a town on the other side of the world and even went to war against his father.~~

("FUCK YOU," he had yelled at his father, walking through the door of the Antarctic Empire. If they want to ignore him, he'll show them how much of a fucking threat he is.)

So, Fundy betraying them, in the end, wasn't that much of a shocker. But it doesn't excuse how he had torn the wall and burned the flag to the ground. He had _hoped_ him trying to be a good uncle - even though he is younger - could have influenced his mind to _not_ betray them. But, his dad told him that fate is a fickle thing, and things happen for a reason. 

He calls bullshit on that statement, but it seems to fit at the moment, so he'll use it.

And then there is Techno. 

His was a fucking shocker - he thought Techno was a _virgin_. But it seems not if Ranboo existence was anything to go by.

Hell, Ranboo's existence wasn't even revealed until _yesterday_ , and even he - Techno's _brother,_ didn't know of his existence. 

Which was the first red flag.

At first, he was giving him the benefit of doubt and that perhaps Techno had his reason. Except, Ranboo had to correct him on his age. 

Even Wilbur could at _least_ remember his own son's age.

Techno could be dickish at times, but yeesh, to forget your own child's _fucking_ age. 

So it isn't a big surprise when he comes to the realization that their relationship isn't the best. Ender, his siblings' are the worst parents.

Now, he can't tell you much of Ranboo, but he could tell you of the _habits_ he's been picking upon. Obviously, he's only known Ranboo for less than twenty-four hours, but he's been able to pick up on how when he's nervous, he'll start rubbing his gloves hands. Or how he purposely doesn't look at the direction of Techno. Or how he's tensed and quiet the majority of the time. 

Ok, the last part could just be the guy not being used to the SMP. 

This results in him asking Dream if he's allowed to give Ranboo a tour (excluding _L'_ manburg). Maybe the guy would open up a bit. 

Sure, there was a complication as they were trying to leave - Wilbur and Techno are assholes, as always. But, that was solved by his presence. 

So, now they're walking towards his summer home. Where he's going to start the tour _and_ where he's going to introduce Tubbo to him. A win-win situation if you tell him.

He asks Ranboo a couple of questions as they get closer, although his answers are all short or one-word responses. 

("What's your favorite color."

"Blue."

"How did you even get here?"

"Got chased by wolves."

"How _tall_ are you?"

"6'6.")

Which is _fine_. 

It distracted them long enough that the trip to his summer home felt short. 

He starts grinning when he spots the suit-wearing figure. 

"BIG T," he yelled out, waving his hand in the air like a madman.

He watches as Tubbo perks up and starts running towards them to shorten the gap. 

"Tommy!" Tubbo yells back, before a look of confusion appears, "and tall figure!"

Oh ya, he has yet to tell Tubbo of his new family member. 

On the side of his peripheral, he watches Ranboo wear a look of uncertainty.

He cups his hands over his mouth, "he's my nephew!"

~~Ranboo sends him a look.~~

"Cool!" He tries to hold in his laugh, when he notices the height difference between Tubbo and Ranboo - as Tubbo finally reaches them. "My name is Tubbo."

Ranboo hesitantly nods, "Ranboo."

Tubbo lights up, "oh! Like, Ranboob!"

Fuck manners, he's going to laugh; He falls to the ground with how hard he starts laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion, FUCK canon, I'm going to change so much of canon and no-one could stop me :) ~~I'll keep some things the same, but with how the story is going, i'll have to change some aspects - sorry~~
> 
> ANYWAYS, MY BOI RANBOO GOT INTO THE SMP !!!!! HE'S GROWN SO MUCH, AND HE DESERVES IT 🥳🥳
> 
> But, now my story is very outdated too, lol :)
> 
> BUT I DID PREDICT DREAM THREATENING RANBOO, SO HURRAY !!


	15. Ranboob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo hates the last part of his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be honest, it isn't a Ranboo fic without the one chapter all based on his Ranboob nickname :)

_ Ranboo _ .

He would like to say his name isn't bad per se, but it isn't the best either - specifically _ ,  _ the last part of his name.

Although, maybe that's because his father had chosen the name - Ranboo. He has no idea how his father had come up with his name, nor does he know the exact reason  _ why _ he was given the name. 

His name was odd, to say the least. 

As a kid, most of his teachers would think he was lying about his name and mark him absent. On the other hand, many people would pronounce his name wrong or use his name to make a joke. 

And by joke, he means the boob joke. 

He can't tell you how many times he has people come up to him, and without hesitation call him, Ranboob. It was funny at first, but  _ Ender _ does it get tiresome after who knows any more times. 

So politely as he could muster - and awkwardly - he gives Tubbo a smile. "I know," he mutters, a tinge of misery in his tone. You can't fathom how much it stings him to just hear that nickname.

Also, if Tommy doesn't stop laughing, he might just punt him over the cliff near them. 

"RANBOOB," Tommy repeats (definitely going to punt). Tommy starts laughing harder, the grass getting smushed as he lays on it. 

"I-" he sighs, shoulders dropping. There is no point to even say anything - he's going to be teased so much through this tour, isn't he?

Maybe instead of punting Tommy, he himself just jumps off the cliff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry that this chapter was short, the chapter was longer, but it didn't feel right.
> 
> SERIOUS QUESTION: Ok, I'm wondering if you guys would want me to take this story to the present time (where Ranboo and Tommy ransack George's house.) I have an idea on how I could do it, and an already made plot line semi-made. Or would you guys want me to keep letting the story flow as it is now, and have major canon divergence. Regardless, I have both plot lines semi-made, and both would result in the same ending (more or less).
> 
> Also, Ranboo character doesn't have eyelids?? Like, why does he reveal this, _after_ I wrote this /J /lh
> 
> Edit: I’ll be taking a break for a week, because i just realized that i ran out of pre-written chapters, hope you guys have a good week :)


	16. I'm Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo has yet to eat breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back :)

Ranboo has always been fond of the forest. 

Trees that came in different shapes, sizes, and colors astonished him; Bugs that could be found everywhere, under rocks, logs, dirt, etc. Finally, the animals that could be found inside - going as far as rabbits to wild boars. 

The forest never failed to amaze him. 

And it also wouldn't disappoint once he decided to run-away, giving him shelter under the leaves and food. Although you'll have to ignore the part where he was being chased by wolves. Also how if he hadn't been in the forest in the first place, he would've probably been chilling on a rock eating breakfast. 

Maybe he should ask Tommy and Tubbo for food. Or would that be overstepping boundaries?

He sighs, his gaze lingered towards a red apple, before turning his attention back towards the pair in front of him.

They had walked into the forest, because as they explained, Tommy's house was just a pit stop, and that their real tour was going to begin once they reach the Prime path(?). But to get to the Prime Path, they'll need to go through the forest.

Tubbo and Tommy talk, occasionally trying to include him, but he just gives them one-worded answers. 

And don't get it wrong! He would love to add in a couple of words, but going months on end without talking to anyone - with the exemptions of the occasional villager every couple of weeks. - does do a lot to deter one's small talk abilities.

He huffs, kicking a rock, watching as it soars through the air, landing next to a forest frog. He lets Tubbo and Tommy's voices become background noise as he watches the startled frog leap towards the nearest bush - trying to hide.

He lets out a small giggle, watching the frog  _ barely  _ miss the bush by a couple centimeters.

The frog freezes before reanimating back to life - jumping into the bush.

He moves his gaze away from the now hidden frog.

He almost trips, stumbling as a result, as he abruptly stops himself from walking. He hears Tubbo and Tommy's surprised/startled yells - both asking if he's alright.

He opts to ignore them, quickly catching his balance, as he fixates on a patch of grass next to the bush. 

And in the middle of the patch of grass? A grey colored flower. 

Specifically, a wither rose. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I'll be going with the flow, but I'll also try my damndest to include some of the canon stuff of Ranboo character if I can. 
> 
> For example, like the ending of this chapter: on stream, Ranboo says his character likes flowers. Now you probably have an idea of what the next chapter is going to be like, lol
> 
> Also, TECHNO (AND RANBOO HAS IMPLIED) THEY DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH PEOPLE MENTIONING THIS AU (they don't mind people making au's from what I hear) SO DON'T EVEN SHOW OR MENTION THIS FIC TO THEM, PLEASE !! I write for fun, and for you guys, but I also know there is a limit of what I could write because these are real people I am writing about. 


	17. Bonding time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo is finally bonding with Tommy and Tubbo :)

Ranboo had heard of many myths and legends as a kid. 

From kids his age trying to scare each other with whoever could create the scariest sounding mobs to people recounting his father's fabled deeds to him ~~reminding him of his blood~~. He had heard many tall tales as a child. 

But a famous story he had not heard, instead he had read it, was a tale of a flower.

A flower that could hurt a recipient with just a touch of a finger, burning the skin. 

Colored an ashen grey with stem such a dark green that it looks brown - this flower was called a wither rose.

* * *

He dumbly blinks, mind racing that perhaps he is just imagining things (wouldn't be his first). 

It doesn't disappear.

 _No,_ he did _not_ let out a happy squeak when he realized that the wither rose was real and not a figment of his imagination. Still ignoring Tommy and Tubbo's questions, he quickly ~~ran~~ walked over to the rose. 

He awkwardly bent down and carefully plucked the flower. ~~He ignores how he could feel the heat go through his gloved hand.~~

The confused chatter comes to an end as Tommy asks, 

"You like flowers?"

He carefully holds the flower, grateful for his gloves - his hands would have burned if not.

"Yes," he carefully rolls the stem, the flower spinning.

Well, at least now he could tell you that the book was partially right. And by partially, he means that it doesn't look as intimidating and scary looking as the book's description. Also, the colors were a bit brighter than the picture it had provided him with. 

More of a grey than ashen, with the stem, also being more on the brighter side of green. Really, he's surprised he even came to the awareness of such a flower. 

The book did not do a good job explaining or really drawing the flower out well.

Luckily for him, he did not read that book several times and looked around for information for the flowers for nothing. As the other books had given him more info on how to identify one.

An example: " _One may recognize a Wither Rose with how the surrounding grass looks dead when in reality it's just a dirty green._ ** _And_** _, they only grow in one's, and not in pairs_."

Which doesn't seem much, but there's still more,

" _If it smells like garbage and burns your hands, then it surely is one_." 

And he could confidently say that he could feel the heat growing the longer he holds the flower stem.

Oh, and does it _smell_. 

"Um," Tubbo meets Tommy's eyes, "Ranboo? May I ask what type of flower you're holding?"

They watch in amazement - and a bit in bewilderment - as Ranboo seems to brighten. Not even realizing, Ranboo starts rambling, going on about the flower properties, meaning, the rarity of the flower, etc.

Tommy and Tubbo look at each other, nodding, as they come to an understanding. 

They start walking, and subconsciously Ranboo follows, still excitedly rambling. 

They give each other a grin, adding in occasional questions, so Ranboo doesn't stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just feel like Tommy and Tubbo are the type to see someone ramble about something they like and actively encourage it.  
> Have a good day folks :))


	18. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo is nervous

Ranboo's voice is sore. 

Never a good sign. ~~lockedoorlockedoorlockedoorlockedoorlockedoor.~~

Sore throat means he was screaming, but the thing is - he wasn't? 

Instead, he was just talking, not even yelling - just talking. To be more exact, rambling on about flowers to Tommy and Tubbo. 

This brings up the question: How long was he rambling for? 

Because if he started rambling when he found the Wither rose, then that means he'd have to have been rambling from that point to the point they are now; a long wooden path, seeming to shine under the sun.

He feels a numbing cold fill his whole body as he comes to that realization. He stops walking, letting Tubbo and Tommy go ahead of him. 

He watches in mute horror as they seem to stop, turning towards him, ~~they'reangrythey'reangrythey'reangrythey'reangrythey'reangry~~ and impulsively he blurts.

"S-sorry, I'm so sorry," he stuttered. His heart spikes and he holds his breath, waiting for their response - looking everywhere besides where the pair stand. ~~Sure, they asked questions, but they were probably pity questions. Or worse, he didn't pick up on their annoyance.~~

Tommy and Tubbo look at each other, sending the other a ~~confused~~ look. ~~they'reangrythey'reangrythey'reangrythey'reangrythey'reangry.ohnoohnoohnoohnoohno.~~

Although, to his surprise, rather than to mock him, Tommy made a protesting squawk. "Sorry?!" Tommy sends him a confused look. "What the fuck are you sorry about?!"

Tubbo aggressively nodded his head, seeming to be in the same agreement with his friend. 

~~He hid his shaking hands behind his back~~. "Um," his voice shook, "for rambling?" He said more like a question than an answer. ~~' _Aren't they supposed to be mad?'_ ~~

Someone scoffs, "Trust me, Big man," he feels Tommy trying to catch his eyes. "If I wanted you to shut up, I would tell you to shut up."

"He would," Tubbo says, seeming to speak from experience.

"Also, I and Tubbo, we're encouraging you," Tommy's tone was a matter of fact one. "So if you want to blame anyone, it better be fucking me and Tubbo." Tommy then pretends coughs into his inner elbow, adding, "even if I am never wrong." 

"Also," Tubbo buts in, "I found your talking about Wither Rose's interesting."

He finally looks at them,

Standing there were two figures, who for the first time in his life, _actually_ listened to him and didn't make him feel _bad_ for rambling. No telling him to shut up, ignoring him, or belittling him - they just listened.

And, he gives a genuine grin towards the pair. ~~How long has it been since people actually cared about what he said.~~

The pair, for their part, returns the grin tenfold, beckoning him to follow them.

No-one notices the duck hybrid watching from a distance away or how he whispers into his communicator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget, in the last chapter Ranboo did say that he hardly talked when he was traveling. So him probably rambling for a long amount of time would probably make his throat sore, due to the long amount of time of inactivity of his voice.
> 
> Anyway, don't stay up to late <3


	19. System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo has a review system

A week has passed since his sudden appearance in the SMP. 

And to simply put it, the week has been so-so. To be honest, he wouldn't give it a five out of five, but it also doesn't just deserve one star, more like a three-star. 

_Ya_ , this week is more of a three-star one.

It would've been a four-star, but _some people_ had to ruin it. ~~Cough, his father and Wilbur, Cough.~~

Tommy was great though, oh! And Tubbo to, even if he was only able to talk to him during the tour. He could see that Tubbo was someone kind.

Tommy was also a great friend(?) to talk to. A bit brash with his replies, but overall, he's grateful that Tommy was the one to show him around the SMP and keep him company.

Probably one of the only reasons his approval rate is a three-star rating, then a one or two at best. 

Maybe this week's rating could be pushed up to a four. 

"Hey, Ranboo!" Tommy yelled, scowling at him. Luckily he now knows that scowling and grinning for Tommy are just his usual expressions - and he doesn't mean no harm.

("It's just his way of showing his worry." Tubbo had whispered to him when they were nearing the end of their SMP tour - watching as Tommy complained too the idea of going back to Pogtopia.)

He hums in response, tilting his head back.

Tommy squinted up at him, face openly showing suspicion?

Ah, did he do something suspicious?

"Are you ignoring me?" Tommy frowned, or well, tried to. He could see him struggling to try to suppress a grin and laugh. 

He blinked before beginning to walk again, this time slightly faster. 

He suppresses a smile when he hears Tommy's laughter and the crunching of leaves behind him.

"Could I talk with Ranboo?" 

Both Tommy and he jumped in surprise as a figure suddenly appeared in front of them, blocking their path. 

The echoes of Tommy's laughter could be heard as they stood in awkward silence - well, _he_ stood in awkward silence. Because Tommy was glaring at Dream, and Dream just stood there, their body language giving nothing away. 

He's very tempted to crack a joke right about now.

Dream shifts his body position and adds on, " _privately_."

Tommy sends Dream a dirty glare, "you could talk with him here just fine." 

He stands in the middle, awkwardly watching the standstill.

Now, Ranboo can't tell you much about Dream, but what he could tell you - it was that Dream awakened his fight and flight reflexes. All things considered, Dream _had_ aimed an axe to his throat. Understandable honestly, he did appear out of nowhere.

But with Dream now standing with no weapons of any kind, looking at him and telling him that he needs to talk to him - he can't help but feel dread. Something screaming at him to not trust this guy, 

Or maybe that's just the petty part of his brain - he _did_ unintentionally expose him to his father. 

Ya, that's probably it.

He blinks and nods, reassuring Tommy that he had made a deal with Dream, and said it'll probably only be for a small amount of time.

 _'Might as well get it over with_ ,' he thinks. He _did_ agree to do some type of questioning for Dream - he just hadn't known when.

He waves goodbye at Tommy as he starts walking towards the masked man.

Tommy scowls, not having a good feeling as he watches Ranboo walk away with Dream. 

He pulls out his communicator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating on Tuesday and Thursday - it was final week and I hadn't had any time to edit. Luckily it's vacation time, so I'll be back on schedule. 
> 
> Also, another question: Would you guys mind if I put Fundy and Dream's engagement? Idk, if their relationship is going to be platonic or romantic, probably more on the platonic side though. 
> 
> By the way, reminder because it seems I sucked at mentioning it: This story predates the festival. 
> 
> Hope you guys have a good rest of ur day <3


	20. Interlude: The Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The duck goes quack, while the Goat goes ba ~

The sound of footsteps could be heard throughout the hallway that leads to the presidential office. The cause of the footsteps? A duck hybrid.

Quackity wouldn't think of himself as a bad guy per se. Sure he had betrayed his friends and happily cheered when they were exiled. But that's just the _Cartel_ ways. He turned a blind eye to Schlatt tormenting Tubbo, but who is he to disobey the president? And sure, he did marry for power - but who wouldn't? 

He'll admit he's selfish, but a _villain_? Schlatt is a villain, and he knows damn well he's just another pawn in this man's game of chess. If he's going to be a playing piece, might as well be a queen.

Although he does sometimes wish he hadn't agreed to make a coalition - it's a hassle being the vice president. _'Pinche gringos_ , _and their dumb presidential elections_.' God, he misses the Cartel.

Well, it's too late for that, he guesses.

Quackity comes to a stop, looks at the polished wooden doors, and taking a deep breath, 

He knocks.

He hears the muffled yell of, "come in!" 

_'Now or never_ ,' he thinks and opens the door.

"Babe ~," he says, his voice overly sweet. He hopes that Schlatt doesn't catch the fakeness of his tone, or he's going to have so much paper-work later on.

"My man, Quackity!" The president of Manburg and the guy he married for leverage - Schlatt grinned. The grin wouldn't last cause in a split second, it turns into a frown. 

"Please explain what you mean by Code Grey." The man's boxed pupils stared into his as he gulps. 

"W-well," he stutters, yellow wings ruffle, "I wasn't lying. Techno apparently has an unknown son." 

"So the joke Code we made while we were both drunk off our asses was _real_ all along."

"Yes?" He answers, coming out more like a question than a statement

He watches Schlatt's face turn blank as the man starts tapping his fingers on the presidential desk. 

Tap, and Schlatt looks away from him.

Tap, he thinks he regrets marrying for money.

Tap, Schlatt is now reaching for a quill. 

Tap, Schlatt finally speaks.

Schlatt grins, "Quackity, Dear," he looks down at his paper-work, "what do you think a useless right-hand man and a bastard prince have in common."

In the corner of his eyes, he catches Quackity going rigged. "What?"

"Leverage."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My man Quackity is a law student, people! All I'm saying is that he isn't just a comedic relief character that most make him out to be (also with the newest arc, mwah.)  
> Not a very big fan of Schlatt, but _damn_ do I give him props for being a good villain. 
> 
> **Pinche Gringos** : Fucking white people/Americans  
> Gringo actually doesn't translate to English, but that's the closest word(s) I know that matches with Gringo 🤷. I might be bilingual, but jesus I suck at translating.


	21. Furry Boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Ban: Officially or legally prohibiting someone or something_

Ranboo awkwardly walks behind Dream - a silence enveloping the pair.

Usually, Tommy would be rambling to fill up the quietness, but Tommy isn't here. And nor is he enthusiastic to begin any conversations with the admin of the world. He doesn't want to risk getting banned just because he offended the admin - that's one of the most painful feelings in the world, next to falling into the void. (Both being on his 'Hope I Never Experience This' list. The name in itself is self-explanatory.)

Although, Dream probably would've already banned him for calling him short and glitching into the world. So maybe he's not one _of those_ admins he has heard of. 

He takes a glance at Dream, staring down at the man. 

Curse Tommy and his constant talking - now he feels that a perfectly quiet atmosphere is awkward. 

"Dream!" He almost jumps out of his skin as a voice yelled from behind. 

' _How many times are people just going to appear behind me?!'_

The masked man stopped and, with a voice laced with bewilderment, asked, "Fundy?" 

He winces as the person who had yelled for Dream came to a stop next to him. 

"Babe! What a coincidence that we crossed paths," they grinned, tail wagging. 

"Wh-" Dream started but was ultimately cut off as Fundy turned towards him. 

"Hello there! I'm Fundy," the fox hybrid held their hand out.

Hesitantly he gave the man his hand to shake, "i-i'm Ranboo." He's still taken aback by the quick turn of events and the man's sudden appearance.

Fundy perks up, "like Technoblade's son, Ranboo? As in the Ranboo that somehow glitched into Dream's SMP. The SMP that is known to have never been hacked or with no known viruses ever being found. AKA the world we are currently standing in. That, Ranboo?"

"I-" he really doesn't know how he should answer that?

Should he even have an answer to that? Well, he's going the safest bet he's got,

When in doubt, say "yes?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> Have a good rest of ur day people!!


	22. Hello, Mister Masked Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream doesn't understand Ranboo and his ~~non-existent~~ motives.  
> In other words, Dream is not used to children actually being children.

Dream does not trust Ranboo.

Bad enough that he had whitelisted Technoblade - infamously known as the blood god - due to a favor he owed Tommy. Techno, whom has already been a pain in the ass to deal with. _But_ now you are telling him that there is another - albeit smaller - version of the guy! A _version_ that somehow glitched(?!) into _his_ world. 

Ranboo, the so-called child of Technoblade,

The boy didn't even look like Techno at all - so he could safely assume the kid took after their mother (Techno's wife?). Even clothes-wise, Ranboo did not take after Techno's ' _fashion'_ sense - wearing a simple white button-up and black trousers paired with grey(?) worn down shoes.

All in all, Ranboo was a child that no-one even knew or would assume to be the child of the feared Blood God. So that brings up the question: What is the boy capable of? Without question, someone who can 'glitch' into a world is already powerful enough - but to also to be revealed as the _Technoblade's_ kid. Or in other words,

A _threat_. 

And with all threats, he made it his goal to find any weakness he may be able to exploit and use to his advantage.

He waits for an opportunity and pounces when the moment is right. He leaves the kid with a couple of rules and a deal. 

At first, things go smoothly. Tommy asks permission to enter SMP lands to give Ranboo a tour - which offers him an optimal opportunity to spy and get a read on the teen. Now, this is where the first problem arises.

Unlike his father, the kid does not act in a way that says, I know several different ways to kill a person. Instead, it looks like the kid could easily be defeated at hand to hand combat by _Tommy._

Ok, if the kid wants to act all weak, then so be it.

So he plans and tries to find a perfect opportunity to cash in the promise they had made. 

And waits,

And waits, 

And _waits_ ,

He startles when a ping comes across his communicator. Glancing at the communicator and then back at his notes, he contemplates if he should even bother answering. 

"Well," he sighs, speaking out loud to himself, "might as well."

And the waiting would end; The moment he read the whisper, he knew his waiting had paid off.

_[Schlatt whispered to you: I would like to cash in that favor]_

* * *

He had planned Tommy to actually put up a fight when he asked to take Ranboo. Which happened at first, sure, but ended quicker than he had anticipated ~~only because of Ranboo~~.

Their trip at first was quiet. No-one talked or made an attempt to make small talk - how peaceful.

He knows damn well it would be temporary, doesn't stop him from flinching when he hears someone calling his name.

Now, Fundy's entrance wasn't planned, but he'll make due. They may be engaged, but both parties know that it's more of a business partnership at best.

He lets the hybrid be, already planning excuses to get Fundy to go back to Manburg. So, imagine his surprise when they arrived at the building and turning around to face the two, he saw - noticed - them giggling(?).

 _'Huh?'_ Ok, he could make this work. In a last minute decision he lets Fundy stay - a way for him to get the teen's guard down.

He ignores Fundy's little whistle as they walk in and leads them towards a room in the far back. 

He opens the spruce doors that lead to ~~the i~~ ~~ntegration room~~ his office.

When walking in, two things become apparent. The room was not really furnished - only having a couple of chairs strewed around and a table situated in the middle. - and was dimly lit up. ~~Dramatic, sure, but this is his world, so he could act however he wants.~~

"You could sit wherever you want," he says, waving his hands at the many empty chairs. Without looking back, he grabs the papers with the pre-written questions. He may have to change a couple because of Fundy being here, though. 

He fixes his mask and turns around to face the pair. 

And, well, Ranboo chose a chair.

Quite a _bright_ chair. (The chair just magically appeared one day, and being completely honest, he still does not know who gifted him the chair. Although he has a feeling it is a gag gift with how the chair is designed - bright pink with blue and purple accents, with two drawn in dots that he is pretty sure are supposed to be eyes.) 

Fine, if that is where the kid wants to sit. 

He starts with his first batch of questions:

“Any family members outside of the SMP?”

“Just my mother.”

“How did you end up here?”

“Chased by wolves, and by a portal.”

“Portal?”

“Yup just ran through it and hoped for the best.”

“And how did you get through the SMP’s security defense?”

“Gonna be honest, I don’t even know?” Ranboo shrugs, avoiding eye contact with the admin.

Ranboo answers are unsatisfactory, to say the least. 

So he did what he knows best, "Hey, do you want the chair?" Give others gifts, so they're forced to comply.

Fundy starts cackling; Ranboo furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNICORN CHAIR!! IT ISN'T A RANBOO FIC WITHOUT A UNICORN CHAIR REFERENCE :D  
> Is it just me or does Dream gives people on the SMP gift and then expect for them to recuperate the gift??? Like, I guess??? 
> 
> Anyway, my update schedule is now non-existent, I will update one time a week or several times a week, no-one knows anymore. Lol. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	23. Time is inconsistent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystals are pretty

Time is an enigma, wouldn't you agree?

One moment you're in a less than ideal household with your only family member being your mother, to the next, where you're meeting family members back to back.

An enigma indeed,

Anyways, Ranboo isn't awkward around Fundy? Miraculously, he actually felt more at ease around the fox hybrid. (A good sign, he hopes?); As if a switch was lit up in his mind, telling him that the hybrid - Fundy, is not a threat and someone that could be trusted. 

Surreal. Not even Tommy or Tubbo possessed that type of power at their first meetup. 

To make matters better, he and Fundy just naturally clicked when it came to jokes. Fundy would start a bit, and he'll add onto it. As a result, creating a loophole of jokes and giggling amongst them. (They couldn't freely laugh, with Dream still being ahead of them - having no way to know if the man would appreciate their jokes.) Although any good joke has to come to an end because the playfulness/carelessness he felt with Fundy would not follow to Dream. 

Instead, he couldn't help but feel a feeling of dread when Dream looked back at them, the blank smiley face mask giving nothing away of the man's expression or thought. 

* * *

"Hey, do you want the chair?" The masked man used the pen he was holding to point at the chair. Which was then followed by a certain hybrid cackling.

Ok, maybe he had a bit of a lapse of judgment for Dream, just a little. 

The man isn't bad, per se. He is a bit, and how to put it nicely, _eccentric_. Truthfully, he couldn't tell you anyone who would offer a teenager a chair when first meeting up.

And don't get him wrong! He's thankful (??) for the gift. Personally, he thinks the chair is pretty in color and very comfortable to sit on. The thing is, he doesn't know how he'll be able to carry the chair? 

He starts twiddling with his fingers and asks, "s-sure. Quick question though, how am I going to carry it?"

He curiously watches as Dream clips his pen back at the paper he held and then reaches into his pocket. 

Dream pulls out a crystal (or is it glass? He can't really tell).

"It's an inventory crystal," Dream answers, probably because of the look of confusion on his face. "Although you probably only seen it a couple of times, Pogtopia only has one from what I hear. And I doubt Tommy is the one keeping it."

"Here."

He barely catches the crystalline that Dream threw his way. Holding it, he notes how it has a small number engraved on the end; 555.

"Ok, now that we're done with that," Dream unclips the pen from the papers. "If it isn't too invasive. What is your relationship with Technoblade?"

Ranboo freezes, but not because of the question. No, it's because of the small message that appears around them.

[Technoblade has left the world]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years!!!
> 
> Inventory Crystals are as the name says, inventory crystals. They are this world version of the inventory box, but unlike the in-game box (which is invincible), it could easily be broken and is hard to find a replacement that doesn't come from Dream (he asks for compensation.)
> 
> Ranboo answering the question: I want to punch him  
> Dream: lmao, same


	24. Welcome to the Panic Room :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo panics ~~abandonment and daddy issues go brrr~~ and Fundy tries to distract Ranboo from bad thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Character has a minor panic attack

_"Mom?" The five-year-old kid looked to his mother - and curiously asked, "does daddy not love us."_

_The mother flinched and stopped her peeling of the vegetables. She put the knife down and looked at her child. Her child: her beautiful child that took more after her than her lover. But has the brains and heart of him._

_"Now whatever would give you that idea," she smiled, patting her son's hair lovingly. "He loves us with all his heart, sweetie."_

Ranboo closed the book and brought his knees close to his chest - perhaps sneaking in a book from the abandoned library to the room _was_ a bad idea after all. He sighed, hoping his mother would be kind enough to open the locked door today.

* * *

"Ranboo!" He startles out of his thoughts, flinching when a hand grips his shoulders.

"I- Fundy?" He looks up from where he was curled up, meeting the worried caramel eyes. Wait...... when did they leave Dream's office? And how did he end up on the ground?

The grip loosens as Fundy lets out a sigh of relief, "are you ok?"

He hesitantly nods - besides being confused by his surroundings and how he had ended up here, he isn't too out of it. He thinks? Maybe he should ask.

"Um," he looks away from the foxes gaze - looking around, "quick question: how did I end up outside?" He takes note that he's in a forest.

Fundy sends him a look of uncertainty and simply explains, "You abruptly stood up and ran into the forest next to Dream's office. I followed you, blah blah blah, and when I caught up to you, you were on the ground." 

He blanched - he just stood up and ran? That's not good. That means he messed up and, _'no, no, no. I messed up.'_ \- and maybe Fundy catches onto his panic state because he tries to reassure him. "Don't worry, though! Dream said it was fine - well, more like yelled to me as I ran out. - and he even said that he had enough information. Whatever that means." Fundy mumbled the last sentence, but he heard.

"Oh." Well, at least Dream isn't mad.

A moment of silence passes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The fox asked, breaking the silence.

He shook his head - once again, silence befalls them. 

Being real, he'd much preferably not think about the implications of what/why he would even react so strongly to his father leaving the SMP. Strong enough that he had apparently run out and had a small freak out in the middle of a forest.

~~Why would he care? Technoblade was basically just his father in name - nothing more and nothing less.~~

~~So why does he feel hurt that his father still doesn't want him - that he even left the world not saying anything to him?~~

Fundy breaks the silence again, "Fun fact: I, and Dream, aren't really in love."

 _'What?'_ He looks at Fundy quizzically. 

Fundy grins - it doesn't reach his eyes - taking his silence as confirmation for him to continue. "Our relationship is merely a marriage of convenience."

He furrowed his eyebrows, "convenience?" What could possibly be so important that he would marry the admin of the SMP?

Fundy nods, "yup. He needed a way to get into the administration, and I wanted a way to get back at my father." Fundy gives a mocking laugh, "isn't that funny. My father probably wouldn't even care, and now I'm stuck in an arranged marriage."

Fundy crossed his arms, a look of pondering now on his face. "Wait, now that I think about it. You don't even know who my father is?"

_'Well, true - but how does that have to do with the story?'_

Fundy doesn't wait for an answer. "Wilbur's kid, aka Techno's twin brother," Fundy points at himself, a bittersweet smile adorning his face. "Which technically makes _you_ , my cousin."

' _Huh,'_ and without thinking, blurted, "holy cow, does that mean crappy fathers run in the family." 

Fundy gives him a blank stare; He flushes when he realizes what he just exclaimed.

"Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that!" He tries to explain frantically. 

"Dude-" Fundy begins but never finishes, as a chuckle leaves his lips. Which would soon turn into full-blown laughter, with the fox doubling over.

Unwillingly (or maybe willingly), he joins in.

And if one were to walk by the forest, they would hear the unrestrained laughter of two young boys.

  
  
  


"Wait. I forgot my chair!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How even old is C!Fundy? Everywhere I look there are different answers and theories. But, y'know for this story to make it easier - I headcanon that Fundy is around 18/19 ish (not too old but not too young either.)
> 
> Also to clear up, the reason Ranboo doesn't recognize Fundy's name as Wilbur's son (even when he had heard it being yelled to Wilbur.) is because realistically I doubt a person would remember a name they heard in passing/spur of a moment.


	25. Date: October 8, XX20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "On October 8, 2020, Schlatt gave a decree that there would be a festival held in Manberg in a week's time. Schlatt wanted it to be a party based on the celebration of democracy and Manberg with many minigames and drinking games." [Source: Dream SMP Wiki]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may want to read the end note :)

They don't stay long in the forest next to Dream's office after Fundy helps him gain his footing. Fundy even took him back to get the present Dream had gifted him - aka unicorn chair (as he mentally dubbed it). It would be quite rude if he hadn't. (Dream even seemed happy that he had come back for the gift.)

Afterward, they walk on Prime Path. He and Fundy both having a silent agreement to not talk about the events that transpired earlier. Nor bring up the sensitive subjects that they had discussed. 

He was glad for that. Also, what would he even say? It would be pretty awkward if he just started a conversation about their deadbeat fathers. 

So they walk, a comfortable silence enveloping them. It's not until they strayed away from the Prime Path and take a turn towards a dirt path (a path one must purposely look for) does Fundy say something.

Fundy slows down. 

"Today's the 8th," the fox states - to himself or to him, he does not have a clue. Before he has the chance to ask what the fox means, 

Fundy stops walking.

"This is the farthest I could take you." Fundy pats his shoulders and gives him a pinched smile, "have a good rest of your day, Ranboo," and walks away - muttering about a journal he needs to update. 

"You too," he mumbles. The wind and the forest are the only ones to witness the response - Fundy already too far.

* * *

To say that the walk back to Pogtopia gave him bad vibes was an understatement. His body was basically yelling at him, telling him to turn around and run. 

He turned a blind eye to it because his instincts had told him that Dream was a bad person, at first - but that wasn't true at all. Dream even gave him an inventory crystal! He doubts a person with bad intentions would give away an important item just like that. Well, he thinks it's important, and it probably is, if Pogtopia only had one in their small ravine.

He grimaces just thinking about Pogtopia. On the bright side, he doesn't have to see his Father anymore.

He sighs before he catches what he could only assume is the light of a torch. Narrowing his eyes, he tries to get a better look at who could possibly be holding a torch this early - it's barely dusk, mobs don't start spawning until late at night.

Now that he thinks about it - is that Tommy? 

Ocean blue eyes meet his dew grass and blood-colored eyes, and with no prompt whatsoever, Tommy rushes towards him.

"Ranboo," Tommy hisses his name. He doesn't miss how the blonde frantically looks around - _'he's skittish,'_ his mind supplies. 

He starts fidgeting, the feeling of dread hitting him full force. "Yes?"

"No time to talk, bitch," once he's at arm's length, Tommy shoves the crumpled paper to his chest. "Here." 

And before he knows it, he's in the middle of a forest holding a map - with the trees and creatures roaming around being his only source of help. And Pogtopia? Well, let's just say he isn't going back anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mailman walked into the streets of a small village. 
> 
> The man in question can't help but notice how _empty_ the town is. 
> 
> No children running around,
> 
> No talking or chattering,
> 
> The only sound he hears is the occasional bark from a dog (or is it dogs?). 
> 
> Ender, someone better be at the house the letter is addressed to.
> 
> It didn't take long for him to find the house - although it was a hassle to find.
> 
> And well, it looks lived in? Sure, there are weeds everywhere, and the ground seemed to be uprooted - the fence also appears to be falling apart, but who's _he_ to judge. He's just the delivery man.
> 
> He doesn't even have the chance to step into the property when the door to the house flies open. Which reveals a disheveled woman, looking worse for wear, but who also wears a look of anger.
> 
> Fuck.
> 
> He freezes when the woman glares at him - eyes seeming to pierce through his soul - before she begins to stalk up to him. 
> 
> Well, this either ends with him buried six feet under or coming out with only minor injuries. Sad that this isn't his first time dealing with a crazed person.
> 
> "Ma'am, I'm sorry for trespassing, but I only want to deliver this letter that I could only assume is addressed to you." He says, voice deliberately calm, hoping the lady doesn't catch onto his distress.
> 
> He held up the letter, making sure it was in the women's line of sight. And without hesitation, when the woman finally reached him, she snatched the envelope. 
> 
> He awkwardly watches as the lady rips the envelope open. 
> 
>   
>    
>    
> 
> 
> _ You are hereby invited to the first annual festival of Manburg. _
> 
> _ Sender:  _
> 
> _ President J. Schlatt _
> 
> * * *
> 
> Fun fact: Dream has a mini mid-life crisis when Ranboo comes back to get the chair. He refuses to believe that the kid would come back to get the colorful chair.


	26. Run-away 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Festival Arc time baby!

Nostalgia - the longing of the past, 

He remembers reading that word in a book once, and by that, he means the dictionary. Why he had read the dictionary, well, that's a story for another time. 

Now one may be wondering, why does he, Ranboo, feel nostalgic? Simple, all this walking - trying to find a safe place to stay - he has been doing for almost the past half an hour eerily reminds him of the time before the SMP. Back when he would struggle to find food on his first week of running since he had no prior knowledge on doing so - used to the food/crops he was provided with. And of course, the forest isn't a great place for a beginner to scavenge. Or when he struggled to trade with villagers with the little things he had taken with him and consequently being scammed. Only realizing he was scammed when he decided to take a rest in a forest. It could also be how his feet pulse, wanting to rest, but his mind refuses because he feels like something or someone would attack him from behind a tree or bush.

Anyway, onto other matters, he should've let those darn dogs eat him or taken another route instead. 

Sure he probably would've ended up dead, but he's here for a good time, not a long time. And right now, he'd rather be mauled by a pack of hungry wolves than be part of the mess this world is in. 

Brightside, at least he now has a chair - which is about everything he has right at the moment. Y'know, with him being hurriedly ~~kicked out~~ rushed away from Pogtopia, with only the things on him and a map Tommy had instructed, for him to follow. Leaving him in the middle of a forest, he really only explored with someone by his side.

Did he mention that it's getting late too? From the looks of it, he most likely only has an hour or two before mobs start spawning in. 

He huffs, a bit bummed at the situation (he had hoped he had finally found a new home.), but he could understand. Tommy _did_ have a good reason to kick him out so abruptly.

The situation goes like this.

("Wilbur's gone insane," Tommy whispers, voice shaking as he lets go of the paper he was handed. "And he somehow got it into his head that _you're_ a traitor." )

Crazy, he has no reason to even _think_ about betraying Pogtopia? 

So, ("Why would he think that?" He asks, baffled by what Tommy just revealed.

Tommy sighed, hand sliding down his face, exasperated he says, "fuck man, like I know. Bitch thinks that you're planning behind his back, just because you coincidently had a meeting the same day the festival was announced." )

Which only left him with more questions. Like, what the heck is the festival? And why is it so important that ~~his uncle?~~ Wilbur thinks he betrayed the rebellion? Also, does his fath- 

He mentally cuts himself off. 

Ok, he could live with being kicked out. Tommy was kind enough to give him this map, a map he's pretty sure leads to Tommy's summer home. 

Looking around, he does notice that the path looks familiar, which means he could probably find his way to the summer house and back to Pogtopia just fine. And won't need the map the second time around ~~if there is even a second time around~~.

He could only hope that Tommy isn't in too much danger.

_'Ender, who did I wrong in my past life to deserve all this drama?'_

With all his internal rambling, he fails to see the incoming figure. 

He collides with something, or more like _someone._

"Ow! Watch it!" The person yells, clearly agitated. 

He goes to apologize, not seeing any issue with someone bumping into him in the middle of a forest. He pauses when he gets a better look at _who_ he had collided with.

Skeppy scowls and tries to get a better look at who had crashed into. His eyes widen when he realizes who he had just bumped into.

" _Mister Skeppy_?"

" _You_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't think i wouldn't mention Skeppy again, did ya ;)


	27. Intermission: A Look in The Past #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at a time before Ranboo was born :]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double Update :D because I feel bad for updating late, lol.

Technoblade is awkward. 

He never tries to hide it, nor does he even try to overcome his awkwardness. So when he was invited to a 'gathering' with his family, he didn't have the will to reject the invitation - because that would be awkward. His brother and father were also eager to go. But he knew well if he decided to stay home, they too would decline the offer, opting to not leave him alone. 

So here he was, in an extravagantly decorated ballroom and with the oh so _wonderful_ , voices in his head.

Oh, did he forget to mention that he's also a bit coco in the head? _Yay_.

He shifted his eyes to stare at his brother and father. His brother was surrounded by guests - with the majority being women - as he tells tales of his adventures. Probably stories from the survival game he runs - not really a story you should mention to the average person, but the wealthy live in another wavelength; world all together. Then there is his father - who only has an albeit smaller group of people but all seeming to be very engrossed in his story. Understandable, his father survived in a mob-infested world after being abandoned by his so-called 'friends'. He's also a great storyteller - Wilbur had to get it from _someone_.

And then there was him, he who stood awkwardly next to a wall holding a champagne glass, with the voices screaming 'E' for some odd reason.

Well, at least he hadn't needed to really change outfits; His royal garments fit perfectly with the setting, at least.

"Well, aren't you awkward?" A cheery voice spoke towards him. 

He tightens his champagne glass in surprise; the voices halt.

A light laugh reaches his ears.

"My bad," the lady giggled, seeming to catch his stumble, "I didn't think the great Technoblade would get scared easily."

' _Oh no_ ,' he thinks. He was hoping no-one would approach him. 

He clears his throat, "many things people say about me aren't true."

The lady tilts her head, her green eyes staring into his, "oh, is that so."

She brings her champagne glass close to her lips, "well, why don't you show me what is." She takes a sip, looking him up and down. 

"No," he flatly says.

The lady chokes on her champagne glass, coughing loudly, catching a couple of their fellow guests' attention. 

"What?" The lady manages to cough out, her eyes filled with confusion. The voices come back full force, laughing and mocking the woman as it seems she's never been rejected before.

Techno pursed his lips, "I need to go."

He turns around, ignoring the lady's pleas to stay. 

' _Yup, that's enough social interaction for today. Phil and Wilbur would understand._ ' He ignores how the voices yell to kill everyone in the gala. 

* * *

* * *

Techno snaps out of his past reminiscing. He can't afford to waste any time.

He sighs, he should have really consulted with his father and brother about starting a war. But then again, they were the ones that tried to actively encourage him to go out and meet new people. 

Spoiler alert - that didn't go well.

In his opinion, he didn't think Squid Kid would try to initiate a full-on war for _potatoes_ of all reasons. Only a _fool_ would ever agree.

He looks at the island he had purchased from a wealthy landowner - an island that would soon be plowed and dug up for his new farming 'hobby'. Yup, only an utter fool would agree to Squid Kid's term of war. 

He sighs, dreading the oncoming work he's most likely going to have to do. Perhaps he could pay the villagers inland for some extra help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Grammarly technically count as a beta reader??


	28. The Gods Have Favorites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skeppy might just have a aneurysm

_ "You!" _ Skeppy repeats face becoming paler and paler. 

"Mister Skeppy!" Ranboo also repeats, smiling. He watches in amusement as the man in question starts sputtering. 

"How-" Skeppy purposely cut himself off, furrowing his eyebrows. "How did you even get here?" They finish their previous sentence, hand going to grip their hair in confusion.

"Like on the SMP?" He questions - Ender, how many times is he going to explain. "Because I was kinda just let in," he says, shrugging. He honestly just doesn't question the implications - or the reason why he's here anymore makes his head hurt. 

He watches as they open their mouth like they're going to speak any moment, but nothing comes out. Just sounds like the dying clucks of a chicken. 

Don't ask what that means. 

He tilts his head, pondering,  _ 'would that mean Skeppy is part chicken?' _ That would be a surprise, but he has his doubts that it's true. Although it would be pretty funny. 

Nonetheless, he should really do something with how the man keeps looking at him like he's just seen a ghost. He is not a ghost -he thinks? Do they even exist?

"Am I hallucinating?" Skeppy mumbles to himself, "I'm not that old? Am I?" 

"Well, I'm not a hallucination, but you are pretty old," he answers. He suppresses a grin when they send him a glare. (Ender, he forgot how fun it is to torment someone older than him.) 

Skeppy groans, "I hate you, kid," he says, with no bite to the statement. 

"Understandable," he smiles. 

Skeppy mumbles something under his breath, but he isn't able to catch what they said.

"First, welcome to the SMP. Second, where are you heading?" Skeppy asks out of the blue, tone shifting from annoyances to curiosity. "Because if you're going to the SMP, then you're going the wrong way," they point behind him, raising an eyebrow. 

"Ah," his mood suddenly drops. He totally forgot about his situation. "I'm trying to find a house, you see." He shows Skeppy the map he was entrusted with.

_ Wait(?), _ should he even be showing the map to him?

Before he could take back his words, Skeppy had already taken the map.

"You know Tommy?" Skeppy blurts out, tone shifting again. 

"Yes?" He answers, a bit hesitant because he isn't sure what Skeppy's tone means.

A moment of awkward silence passes before one of them speaks again;

He flinches when a sudden screech comes from the brunette.

"The god of this world  _ hates _ me!" Skeppy yells, bordering whining as he seems to shed fake tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F in the chat for Skeppy for realizing that the two most annoying children in his life are friends 😔 
> 
> Spoiler for the latest lore stream:  
> Also, I have taken the liberty to ignore yesterday (March 1st), like, Tommy is most definitely alive :) My man finally got out of the prison, what do you mean he did not :)


	29. Here Comes the Muffin Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A queerplatonic couple fight over the fact if they should adopt a child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update :] Yay!

Skeppy helped him in the end, albeit with him complaining about how he just had to become friends with the other 'annoying' child. He's not surprised in the slightest. Tommy just seems like that type of person to annoy adults. 

And suffice to say that meeting Dream, ~~his father leaving him without a goodbye,~~ getting kicked out for his protection, and meeting up with an old friend(?), lead to one of the most stressful days he has had yet. Well, besides the first day, but that's beside the point.

In conclusion, he would give this week a two-point-five out of five. With the point-five being generous - somehow, this week made last week look like a breeze. Maybe he should start lowering his expectations, which is saying something because his expectations are already low. 

Either way, he could only hope that whatever gods watch over them doesn't mess up next week. Although with his track record, he has his doubts.

* * *

He sits comfortably on a chair, reading a book that he had recently found - something about a man running away from some hunters. - after almost a week of cleaning the house. Let's just say the house wasn't the cleanest when he arrived.

_(He starts coughing his lungs out when he's only a couple steps in the house - a swirl of dust had lept at him, and the stagnant air was not helping at all. His eyes water due to his hacking cough, and a feeling of deja vu sets in his bone._

_On the bright side, at least he knows what he's going to do most of next week.)_

Halfway through the book, his ears twitch as they catch the sound of sticks crunching outside the summer house. He holds back from turning the page and waits.

A couple more crunches before the crunching comes to a stop.

He flinches, almost drooping his book as someone suddenly starts shouting, "HELLO, IS ANYONE HERE." A short pause, "HEL-"

"Skeppy! Knock, don't yell!" Someone yells back, interrupting the person. He hears a small smack, which is then followed by complaining.

He finally looks away from the book he had been reading. Bummer, he had been getting to the good part. 

He stands, sighing as he does, and goes to open the door - only _one_ other person besides Tommy knows where he is residing at the moment. Honestly, he hadn't expected anyone except Tommy to visit, but he should've expected Skeppy to come by. Probably to complain some more. 

"Can't you be a little quieter? Or is that too hard for you?" He says exasperated - while opening the door. There stood the man himself, Skeppy with Bad(!) by his side. 

"Hello, mister Bad!" He brightens his annoyed tone changes to one of warmth. _What a pleasant surprise._ He ignores how the blue hooded figure chokes - sputtering half-finished insults - and adds, "what brings you here?"

The demon smiles, tail snapping back and forth, swinging the object in his hand a little. "My goodness, do I need to have an excuse to visit you? Though, I would've visited you earlier," they chuckle, "but I was banned from Pogtopia.

"Also, we didn't catch you at the wrong time, right? We really didn't know how to contact you to ask."

"No, no," he shakes his head, "I'm not busy at the moment. Just a bit surprised." Hmm, maybe Skeppy visiting isn't _that_ bad. 

Still ignoring Skeppy, his eyes wander down to see what the object that Bad holds; His eyes landed on a basket that the coal-colored demon was holding. 

Bad catches onto what he is looking down at, "oh! We actually came here to ask you a question."

He looks up at them in surprise, "oh?"

"Ugh!" Skeppy complains, butting in, "Bad, hurry up and ask him!" They slump their shoulders in an exaggerated matter. "I'm _hungry."_

"Shush, Skeppy," Bad snaps back, glaring at his partner. Although there wasn't any fire to their words.

"Now, Ranboo," Bad looks away from the pouting man and cheerfully asks, "do you want to go on a picnic!"

He blinks, "a picnic?" 

Bad nods, shaking with excitement, "a picnic!"

"Where, if I may ask?" He questions, uncertain - he's not sure if he could leave Tommy's summer home.

"Anywhere really, we could even have a picnic out here in the front yard if you want," Bad reassures him enthusiastically, waving behind him at the yard. 

"Um, the front yard is good. If you don't mind?" He fidgets with his gloves. 

Badboyhalo beams at him and eagerly responds in agreement. 

And as he sits and eats the muffin that Bad had given him, he feels his chest warm - it's been a while since he's felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Badboyhalo *pulling out adoption forms*: I want child :D  
> Skeppy *trying to burn the adoption papers*: No!
> 
> Fluff, because the chapters are about to get a bit more 'aggressive' :)

**Author's Note:**

> why am I like this???? I don't even know anymore. 
> 
> Leave a comment if you want. You don't have to though.  
> [Tumblr](http://eggs-and-shells.tumblr.com/)


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